If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
