The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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