she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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