I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
