Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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