I'm pants shitting drunk right now
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
