I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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