Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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