i may or may not be watching the land before time
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
