Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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