It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
