Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
