Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
