You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
