scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
