My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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