i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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