DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
