So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
