if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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