would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
