She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
