I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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