dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Randomize
