is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Damn victory sex feels great
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
