umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
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