I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
so much tequila, so little girl.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
