dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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