She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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