im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
