I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
