Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
