That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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