if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
