Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
