Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
