TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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