So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
