I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Of course I have a pirate flag
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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