They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
