Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
