Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
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