I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I'd cum for enchiladas.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize