I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
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Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
