I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
