they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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