wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Randomize
