So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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