so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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