Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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