you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
PANTIES FOUND
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