Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
