jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
