Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
