i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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