No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
