I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
